I used to be hesitant to tell people about - what I believe are - the secrets of the universe, but then I realized the response is almost always “Oh my God I had no idea!”. Then they proceed to change nothing about their life.

Me: “Hey man, your AirPods are microwaving your brain with EMFs, your phone is cooking your balls, sip Mountain Valley water with a pinch of Redmond’s Real Salt instead of a sports drink, and functional lifts with a kettlebell will make you all-around stronger”

Other Person: “Oh my God, I had no idea!” *puts bluetooth ear buds back in, slides phone into front pocket, chugs gatorade, blasts smith machine bench press*