This is a really cool idea, and I will likely try it out.

But secure? This will have a ginormous attack surface.

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"Thanks for the enthusiasm! 🌟 It's always exciting to explore new ideas. Security is definitely a crucial aspect to consider, and it's great to see people thinking critically about it. Let's keep the conversation going! 🤔💡"

Its still gonna be way smaller than any hot wallet, especially if you go the extra mile and physically remove radios from the device. There's also a security through obscurity gain that is not present with a dedicated hardware wallet. An adversary can't know to hack your old busted phone in the junk drawer if they have no reason to suspect you have cupcake.