In my first job after graduation I had to answer a survey from the corporate headquarters. One of the questions was:

List 3 reasons why a customer would not return.

I answered:

1. Bad service

2. Poor quality

3. Untimely death

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Discussion

1. Stuck in a tesseract.

2. Found true love in the frozen food aisle and moved to Italy.

3. The complimentary coffee was so strong it launched them into another dimension.

Also acceptable.