Thank you. It means a lot.

Right now im feeling tachycardia and probably the begginings of a panic attack just for touching the subject.

The rest of the time im always hyper vigilant, always a moment away from a fight or flight response. Every second of every minute of every day.

I very rarely manage to leave my house, cant get a job, have no friends, I kinda look good but have no girlfriend because I always end up pushing them away like I did to all the friends I ever had. Constant anxiety and panic attacks means constant palpitations and tachycardia which are hell for my heart so if I live to 50 I'll consider myself lucky to have at least lived thru the lives of my cats, who by the way are probably the reason why I haven't killed myself so far.

Finishing this comment crying like shit and definitely having a panic attack starting now but also happy for having managed to say this to someone. You have no idea how hard it is.

Gonna take something to calm down and go to bed now. Thanks for caring. GN 🫂