Have you ever tracked another person? I have. After a weed deal gone south. I tracked the motherfucker through neighborhoods and backyards, and intercepted him. I popped up _out of the dark_ yaknowhatimsaying, like I emerged from a fucking shadow. It was right shit. But the most we did was just puffing and eye raising. Maybe some arm waving too. I wasn't going to do shit, because I was a fucking pussy that didn't know how to fight. I could probably land some blows, but suffice it to say "I have never fought a fight" is what it was until then.

Maybe I was tased in this happened backwards, but at some point I run into his twin brother, my friend Ricky and his brother who is younger but bigger. It turns out that Ricky's other brother was impersonating him on instant messenger asking me to come down and serve him weed through the window while he ghosts me and doesn't pay for it. So I was pretty pissed at Ricky, but Ricky had nothing to do with it. He got defensive. I got to pushing. The two of them got to fighting me and I ended up on my back in the gardening getting walloped, and at some point lil bro was whacking the top of my head with something pointy. I call it quits and they get off and we part ways.

It turns out I got bloody. The top of my head was cut open, and blood had been running down the front of my head. Just a little, I hope. And I had to ride all across town on my scooter (yes, we had a cool ass scooter that we could totally just ride fast, you know?). But that night, when I got home, I had to explain to my brother that I got robbed, and there's no money, and no weed.

But he was actually fine with it because the weed was pure shit. We had actually grown it, until my dad discovered it and my brother's closet, and poured bleach on the plants, of all things. And I don't know what he did with the plants but we got the plants back, and sure, they were pungent with the district smell of bleach. But it was weed.

And I felt bad betraying Ricky by selling him bad weed. But I'm glad we served it to Eddy, because fuck that guy, we didn't know him. And he fucking robbed us. Eddy just served the weed immediately to a guy in the nearby shopping center. So essentially it was a victimless crime? Some bitch ass with a car has to buy twice? Idc. If you trust a guy like Eddy then maybe you get what's coming to you.

So I get home and wash my head, in the sink, as is the normal way I washed my hair sometimes. I could see it faintly, in the sink. But what I most remember was the distinct smell of my head oils mingling with the blood. A very distinct smell that I would remember later in a similar injury. These kinds of injuries don't happen that often. Anyway, I wonder if other guys know the smell of blood and hair. It's a fucking weird thing to talk about, sorry...

Anyway, so that's what happened that night.

After that, Ricky and I's relationship was strained, and his little brother _hated_ me (it turns out it was all posturing, which disappeared once I responded with humility and love (which happened after I got saved). Eddie wasn't in school, so I didn't hear about him much. But Ricky was a funny guy. I liked Ricky, and he was a decent guy back to me. He had a genuine smile, and was funny. Not calling him a saint or anything. But I sort of did a thing by _willingly intended to sell him shit weed_ just so I and my brother could get paid. In other words, *I betrayed him to get high*. And that sticks in me as something I haven't yet asked for forgiveness for. Ricky, I am sorry.

But I have done many things in the cover of darkness. From creating a second moon, to stealing and sneaking, even with buddies on occasion. Had to all sneak out of our parents' houses but yeah. But I myself did a lot of shameful sneaking around at night. I regret doing any of it. ...

But let's talk about the plain aspect of _sneaking_. Walking silently. Looking for others. Hiding silently in shadows while they pass. Really ninja type shit. I once laid in the shadow of a car beside a sidewalk, as one of the townhouses let their dog out of the front door to pee. I heard the clicking of the dogs paws as he walked past my head. Undetected. So I could do some ghost shit. That's not to say that I never met another man in the dark. I have. But you don't say much to them. I once only saw an ember glow in the back of a house I was walking past. With no sense of alarm. Who the fuck smokes a cigar on their back deck in the pitch black in the still of night? It's sort of what I'm doing right now, minus the stillness of the wind..

I'm smoking, which has risks and considerations. I have to do it in secret, outside. It needs to be dark so that the neighbors don't see me. And also I have family that I don't want to see it.