I was just released on bail for assaulting my neighbor. now, before you get all judgy, hear me out. so, our one neighbor makes these amazing chocolate chip cookies, buttery, palm-sized so you can stack a handful and loaded with chocolate chips. the cookie to chip ratio is dialed in. these are near perfection. anyway...

I m talking to another neighbor and the cookies come up. this neighbor starts to explain how they asked the other neighbor to NOT put so many chips in...

well, I woke up in jail.

apparently I was choking this neighbor and the other neighbors couldn't get me off her. the cops showed up and he put me into a sleeper hold... and here we are...

ok, ok, I'm not in jail, I didn't choke my neighbor. but I wanted to!!

Less chocolate chips!!!

Are you out of your mind?!?!

#smij wonders about people sometimes