I know you teenagers watch a whole lot of television and you get kind of a mixed-up view of what the world is really like. The worst thing is that TV makes crime look good, where actually crime is bad. First of all, there's no such thing as a criminal mastermind, okay? The prison population is not a brain trust. If you ever skimmed through the mugshots down at the police station, you know you're not looking at the MIT graduating class. And if you're a criminal, one of these guys is going to be your roommates for the next 20 years. Also, if you get into the criminal line of work, you got to work a lot of nights, there are zero benefits and no one will come to your patio dinner party because they're afraid there's going to be a drive-by shooting. Despite what you see on television, most criminals either get caught or killed or they have to change their identity and move to a country where there's nothing worth stealing. So I'm asking you to just say no to assault, break-and-enter, arson, murder, theft, drug trafficking, and, oh yeah, real estate sales.