Yes, I completely believe your anecdotes, which I also find appalling.
I watched DEI initiatives destroy the public schools where I live - to the point where we had to pull our kids out and put them in private schools - which is not something I ever envisioned or wanted to pay for.
The school district went as far as cancelling all advanced placement programming because it āmakes minority students feel badā. They stopped grading kids. Stopped assigning homework. Stopped making kids accountable in any way. Itās been pure madness.
And the teachers have farmed out all of their curriculum work to iPad apps.
So the stories from your wife all track.