Your cruise control is fine. It's that your car's computer is out of whack because of the brake switch

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Yeah that's what I was thinking. It actually kind of makes sense if they did that on purpose. That combo of problems is probably easier to diagnose than any one code. That's a guess anyway. Could just be accidental on their part.

Apparently some cars won't even start or shift out of park. So I guess I got off easy, if not dangerously.

By the way, I appreciate you reaching out. It's helpful to bounce ideas for this shit. Especially on newer cars.