A couple of my favorite Jack Handey quotes (featured in 90s SNL):

“If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.”

another:

“Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.”

and another:

“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”

#funny #humor #SNL #comedy