I understand what you mean now. Yes the common culture is huge. But the States *could* have gone independent and North America would be a land of 50 independent countries.
In fact, in Europe I tend to think of countries as equivalent to states (Portugal has the same population as Michigan, etc)
But is true that Europeans focus a lot more on what makes them different, centuries of war w
ill do that to you.
Little things like our Electoral College ensures that even the smallest states priorities must be considered by Presidential candidates. But this also tends to collapse into a 2 party system as well so there are tradeoffs.
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