Would you self-host locally or on some sort of "not-at-arms-length" VM?

Also, does a plug and play relay or self-hosting service exist? That is, I download an EXE, install it, click a few minor tweaks, and I'm now operating my own Nostr Relay and self-hosting. Under 20sec setup time that a 4yr old can do.

If it doesn't exist, it really needs to.