Oxygen is deadly in the right amounts

Unironically, we pack food in #CO2 bags to protect it from bacteria and extend its shelf life. An exposure to oxygen will accelerate the decay of food. In the same way, our body needs CO2 to improve the transfer of oxygen from the blood into the cells (the mitochondria), where it's needed for the creation of energy...

"We as the green socialist party are shocked about the new statistics that say that every dead persons last breath contained oxygen.

We as the green party need to protect our people from this disease.

So we as the green socialist party decided to put a tax on oxygen. Only with a tax we can decrease the amount of oxygen people will breath, leading to healthier and longer living people.

Furthermore we made a test to detect blood oxygen levels. Every person with a blood oxygen level above 80% has to stop breathing for an hour and a half to get the level down to socialist levels. Furthermore they need to be put in quarantane to protect nearby life.

This countermeasures will protect your life as well as that of your loved ones.

The unemployed are a risk group and only cause costs to the society. So we the green party decided to force unemployed people to work so hard that the excess oxygen in their body will end their lives. This is a service for the peope that obey the law.

We recommend only breathing once an hour until further data is examined."

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You as bad as CO2!!!1

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Does smoking protect your lungs with a tar foil from this oxygen mess?