just learned of the difference between a soulmate and a twin flame. the words are a bit flowery but basically:

soulmate: they're very similar to you - like you're a matching pair

twin flame: they're your perfect opposite - like you're two complementary halves

and basically, the soulmate is the one you're more likely to have a successful relationship with.

there's an idea that the twin flame is supposed to complete you, but this is basically a codependency, which is usually considered unhealthy.

it's better if you're both complete people who are very similar and therefore understand each other very well.

this is enlightening, because i think that woman i dated recently was closer to being a twin flame than a soulmate. she was opposite to me in important ways, and there was definitely a feeling that she could complete me.

to some extent, i think she felt the same, because i could sense an urgency in her at times. she'd reply super fast when she got worried, and she'd go very far to find extra time for me, beyond what i think is normal for friends with benefits, which is what she insisted that it was for her.

i think on some level, the basic craving was to feel complete. because that's what i felt when i was with her in person. we spent a lot of time just embracing each other and not talking much.

it was something very special and very intoxicating, unlike anything i've felt before, but it can't possibly be healthy.