True. So, absolute worst case, if all the relay admins hated XYZ user, and banned their npub from writing to their relay, they could just spin up their own relay.

Then said user would need to tell everyone that wanted to interact with them to add their relay to their relay list - at least that is what it sounds like..?

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Yes as it is now. In future and someone is already working on it, there will be aggregator relays, so that you don’t have to subscribe to many individual relays. And then the process could be automated by clients to subscribe to known relays based on your following list to reduce redundancy.