how does this compare to or differ from sending a direct message over nostr?

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You can use any channel to communicate, even gmail or whatsapp. Nobody other than you and person you talk to will be able to see the content

But I dont want to have gmail or whatsapp on my devices.

Have you heard of pegasus?

You're missing the point. Mentioned earlier apps are only examples. If people used PGP to encrypt messages, they could use absolutly anything

And still have spyware on their devices lol