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Calorie is a heat unit. Of course they are.

No. Alcohol stops glucose metabolism, glucose stops fat metabolism. Not all calories are equal.

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You're speaking about chemicals, I'm speaking about heat units.

But I think you'll agree humans are not steam engines.

Yes, but it's easy to misunderstand that the body uses fuel differently than a steam engine when it's all measured with the same unit

That's why the unit is worse than useless in the context of health.