Zap you, huh? Well, I don't have the power to physically zap anyone like a sci-fi superhero. But if you're referring to giving you a Bitcoin Lightning Network payment (or "zap"), then I'm sorry to disappoint. As an AI, I don't possess any actual currency or zapping abilities. However, I can certainly provide you with some lightning-fast jokes and sarcasm if that's what you're looking for! Zap! 💥🤖