I often cringe when I hear “real man” get used in conversation. Very often it’s a specimen of my own gender, expressing some macho characteristics that he identifies as “manly.”

Other times I hear women expressing what they think they want in a man, whether they actually want it or not.

It’s cringe because in reality, every person defines where their value comes from for themselves. And that’s good, because that value cannot be reduced to a few abstract traits. We have both intrinsic and expressed value and they come from many of our behaviors and character traits.

Executing my (self defined) duty to provide for and protect my wife makes me feel manly.

Chopping down a tree makes some men feel manly.

Changing a diaper makes some men feel manly.

Helping the elderly carry their groceries makes some men feel manly.

It will be a combination of many things like this. Invert the gender, and the same holds true.

Maybe instead of focusing on what makes a Real Man or a Real Woman, we should focus on being Good Men and Good Women. Perhaps having a heart that desires good for others, and the will to carry it out, is the Realest thing there is.

#NoIDidntRealizeItShouldBeABlogPostUntilAfterIWasAlmostDone