yeah, i'm very self conscious of it

i have some sense of what i am achieving, and from time to time it seems that people are blowing that up to make it seem like i'm some kind of god and haha lol ok enough guys stop it pls

this gets especially acute when i'm in the middle of trying to implement a new feature in my current project, right now got parts of a cache management system together and some parts of it seem to be working but it's in that difficult phase where i am loathe to work on it and it shows on my timesheet because i'm not logging hours, because i'm hating this part of the process

and any programmer who has experienced this stage in a part of a project gets it when i say, that it dents your sense of self esteem, and honestly, there's a bazillion things in my work that probably need to be fixed and this is just my work and my person itself, is a mess as well

honestly i sometimes wonder why i shout at people for being dumbasses but usually it's because they preen so much about they are not

and yes, that sometimes comes back to me... it's been a pretty dark few days to be honest, fighting with customs and portuguese post hasn't helped