Many times, I found myself having trouble with putting the feeling “saudade” into words. To me it means the missing, the reminiscing, the yearning for the past (which may very well be the reverie I had in my head.), but it also contains a sense of helplessness, surrendering to reality. It’s like “I won’t be able to change the outcome no matter how hard I try.”
Maybe saudade was never meant to be interpreted with words.