Today's winner is neighbors' 15yo pug we're guarding, who's been licking herself under our bed whole night.
Did you ever hear an old pug licking and breathing?
Discussion
Oh yes, if I had the face of stopping too late I would lick myself to in-between wheezes
Yes. Don't forget the tongue doesn't really fit the mouth, so it's lick and wet click click, lick and wet click clickš« And then just watery omnomnom and lick again. 
I feel like Kochansky when she slept next to the pipes.
#reddwarf
I LOLed for real.