I think that arguing about speed and efficiency is missing the point, and why all conversations about graph data go to shit.
Use the schema that fits the domain. If your data is graph data, use a dedicated graph database.
Neo4j is still the correct tool for Nostr. Because Nostr data is graph data. It may not outperform the specific, narrow use cases you think up to dismiss it, but that doesn't matter to me. You need to reframe the way you think about data to see the power of graph representations. And everything you say tells me you can't do that.