naw bro. see, all you have to do is use bitcoin to pay for a private dns service. then use bitcoin to buy credits to deploy a DO server. put a proxy on that bitch. point the dns to the proxy server. then proxy all requests from that server to your home setup, making sure to port forward requests on your pfsense router (you are running pfsense, right?!?!) to your lnd node running on that old laptop you definitely kept from 2010 that has arch on it because ubuntu is for pussies. how is this complicated? what do you mean you don't know what a terminal is? bro, it's easy, bro. just do it. fuck your life outside of this. fuck your kids. fuck exercise. you must learn this now! everything will end if you don't, bro!