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You are not unlovable, and certainly should not think of yourself as only available for noncommittal relationship.

Commitment is what takes both parts to profess the vows of honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives.

Accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church.

The promise of being true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. Love you and honor you all the days of his life. Until death do you part.

nobody 2y ago

I’m going to stab in the dark and say based on teachings and capitalization (🤣) Fabiano is a fellow Catholic.

This is a deep teaching by the Church that while I believe it’s true, it’s hard to hear for many today. Things have changed which make it so. Members of my family struggle with infertility (including us) and adoption is a very very hard process. Marriage is also becoming difficult for many as culture changes (both positively, and negatively).

I say all of this to say, while I agree with Fabiano, I have nothing but compassion for the difficulty of the decisions made by young (and getting not so young) people. It is very difficult to say to a good person that they should not be a parent if they desire to have that joy.

I hope life gives you good opportunities to make such a thing happen if you desire it, and I’ll pray it is as close to the ideal as possible. As I would any good soul like you. That is my approach.

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Discussion

Mallory 2y ago

That was really beautifully said.

Fabiano 2y ago

And that is a conclusion after skipping a few steps.

By no mean was I trying to tell you you do not deserve to be a mother.

Deserving it has nothing to do with this situation.

The struggle is real. For different reasons you may be in this situation.

Trust you can have what you want, not exactly the way you are seeking for.

The best thing you have in you now is the strong will of seeking for motherhood.

Commitment brings two parts, equally willing.

And of course I agree with nostr:npub1wtuh24gpuxjyvnmjwlvxzg8k0elhasagfmmgz0x8vp4ltcy8ples54e7js.

You certainly have what it takes to be a great mother.

Mallory 2y ago

That is sweet. I feel like I really shouldn’t have offered a personal anecdote after asking a general question. I feel like it confused the discussion. I emphatically was not asking if I should make a run on a sperm bank or have a short term relationship solely to get pregnant.

While I have been very open here about my desire to have a partner and children. I’ve never personally desired to have children without a partner. I always saw myself creating a nuclear family.

I’ve known women who had different viewpoints. Knew that if they hadn’t met “the one” by a certain age they were taking matters into their own hands. I will say anecdotally those women seem happier than the women I know who did the equivalent of grabbing a guy before the lights come on at the bar.

I personally don’t believe that the decisions I make for myself should be foisted upon others. I definitely don’t believe any religious beliefs I may have should factor into someone else childbearing decisions.

nobody 2y ago

❤️❤️❤️❤️