There is compelling evidence that is pointing out that I’m doing something profoundly wrong with my life and the solution is simply to invert that. This tends to be the case with figuring “it” out.

The problem is I’m unaware or at least blind to what or why it’s wrong, so I don’t have the foundation to make the right choices.

I think it’s rooted in the fact that my father was fatherless and the horizon toward fatherhood is much sooner than it is later. Perhaps a need to let go of control one way or another.