Which part don’t you get nostr:npub1aftmyhm62lrp6lwsha3yzyjy5kqdvuy7g23qg28a8q0cnmudv0ds0sdcke? That they/them can be used in the singular?

It’s not complicated. If you find car keys on the street, you want to return the keys to the owner. Persumably, most cars are owned by a single person, so you want to return their keys, but you don’t say his or hers because you don’t know.

Some languages like Spanish and Portuguese have rules which say if you don’t know the gender of the person you use the masculine, but that’s not how English works.

Or are you saying you don’t understand why somebody would feel they don’t fit neatly in to the society’s boxes of what it means to be a man or a woman?