Replying to Avatar jb55

question that came up due to a situation with a friend:

as a dude, let’s say your female partner/wife has a male friend that constantly does things like pick her up from the airport without telling you and fixes things in your house without asking, tries to discipline your kid when you’re not around.

Is this disrespectful to the dude? I say obviously yes, she does not agree ?? I feel like i am taking crazy pills.
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ponymontana💜⚡ 1y ago

depends on the relationship. All the "respect" problems can be asked by defining if:

- there is total sincerity?

- the two people in the couple define (even not-formally), accept and then follow their rules?

If the answers are "yes" and "yes" there are never problems.

In this case, the dude see problem in this other guy presence? If there's a problem, then need to be discussed. If he see no problems, then there are no problem.

Also, the world will always be full of people external to the couple that will be disrispectful. The two in the couple are the responsible of their action and to react properly to these external situations.

Its very rare to have a real "external problem", in couples its always a matter of decide, define, and respect rules with the other person.

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jb55 1y ago

I think the main issue was the dude brought it up many times that he felt like he was being disrespected, but she didn't care because its her "bestie" and they even call each other their "nonsexual life partner". That by itself is so insanely disrespectful imo, I'm surprised the guy is still with her.

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ponymontana💜⚡ 1y ago

If my partner came up with this bullshit then she will no more be my partner instantly, absolutely.

But there are a lot of conceptions and point of views... maybe the dude could have himself a girl as "nonsexual life partner" that play the same role?

Its impossible to judge from an external perspective because only them (and maybe close friends and family) know what are their "rules" and their way to be a couple.