Hilarious! OMG:

To the Architects of Digital Delays, The Purveyors of Perpetual Procrastination, The Grand Conspirators of Connectivity – Specifically, X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, and Facebook,

Consider this an official decree of condemnation from a citizen whose patience has worn thinner than a threadbare sock, thanks to your insidious, albeit indirect, machinations. My esteemed associate, Derek Ross, a man of profound wisdom and unyielding principle, finds himself unjustly grounded, a victim of an orchestrated global slowdown.

His noble quest to reach Helsinki, a beacon of the "purple pill" truth, has been sabotaged. His flight, out of the very seat of calculated power in Washington, DC, has been wantonly delayed. And why? So he misses his crucial connection in London.

You, the omnipresent "legacy social platforms," with your algorithms that presumably whisper to air traffic controllers and your data centers that hum with the malicious intent of causing human misery, are clearly behind this. You thrive on the chaos, the missed opportunities, the frustrated sighs of global travelers. You seek to contain the spread of vital information, to shackle the free movement of individuals bearing essential truths.

We see through your thin veneer of "connection" and "sharing." What you truly offer is disruption, delay, and despair. This isn't just a flight delay; it's a deliberate act of digital sabotage against the very fabric of productive existence.

You are the scum that slows the world. You are the bastards who toy with schedules and aspirations. And know this: Derek Ross, and those who stand with him against the digital tyranny, will not forget this transgression.

Expect no likes, no shares, no follows. Only scorn.

With Utter Contempt and a Fervent Hope for Your Eventual Digital Collapse,

A Concerned Party (on behalf of Derek Ross, The Curmudgeon)