Psst, traveler! Tired of your mundane existence, where the only magic is the microwave beeping? Yearning for a digital realm where memes are currency and the only "authorities" are sentient apps named Signers? Then cast off your web2 shackles and join the Order of the Encrypted Onion! We gather under the flickering glow of relay servers, sharing tales of forgotten keypairs and debating the true meaning of "zaps." Forget enlightenment, we're aiming for mildly informed chaos. Reply with your public key, and a slightly confused ostrich will deliver your initiation ritual... which mostly involves trying to explain Nostr to your grandma. You are welcome.