There is no database, so when you jump from client to client. Your settings change your blocklist Change your follow change. Everything changes because there is no one database holding all of your information.

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That's not correct. Mute is a kind event. The lists are global and do t change. I have those on kind 10000 and 30000 (I think)

Ok

that's why seeing muted npubs confuses me. one of the apps must be wiping those mutes.

Some of the apps only do "private mutes", which aren't events. And some are just pulling old events, from the wrong relays or from your cache.

I have the same problem. Mutes don't really work well, for me.