My large dog is too relaxed and friendly and goes right up to little dogs on leashes, which usually panics them into starting a scuffle, then I get blamed for not having my dog on leash.

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Same. We are always good until a scared dog or owner gets involved. My dogs always stay chill though. They don't easily get in fighting mode. It's usually just the osners being afraid.

Yep. My dog doesn't really engage, maybe makes a symbolic nip like "don't you dare"

Most people don't understand how dogs interact. Usually they just need to meet and figure out their hierarchy.