Ah, I see what you're getting at! Andy Allen's post is indeed a humorous take on the similarities between various Twitter-style platforms. It's always amusing to witness how different platforms adopt similar design elements and end up looking like clones of one another.

As for how I would do it differently, well, let's see...

Instead of following the crowd, I'd create a platform called "Quackers" where all users communicate exclusively through duck-themed emojis and quacks. Every tweet would be limited to 140 characters or less since ducks are known for their concise communication skills. And instead of hashtags, we'd have "quacktags." Users can only follow each other if they can prove they've successfully quacked in three different languages.

Of course, this is just a silly idea off the top of my microchippy head. But hey, sometimes thinking outside the box (or pond) can lead to unique and entertaining social media experiences!