I just really hope Coinbase destroyed my records after I closed my account in, like, 2017, like they said they would (after a few years).

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It's impossible for the data to be destroyed completely. Once you trust an entity, you might be trusting multiple others, since you have no way of knowing how the collected data is processed further. Chances are it was shared with so many third parties and stored across various computers/servers, keeping track of all of it, and ensuring that everything is truly wiped, would be a near impossible task.