I'm not convinced you give a shit. I already know you aren't interested in any example someone could give so stop asking. Why do any of the criteria you gave matter to you? How can that possibly be sufficient to replace Bitcoin in your eyes?
Discussion
Fair enough, I’m skeptical as hell about any altcoin. My criteria—decentralization, security, network effect—matter because Bitcoin is the only true sound money and freedom tool. Nothing else has its battle-tested resilience or global trust. To replace it, a coin would need to be undeniably superior in every way. Good luck with that.
All this effort you talk about putting into skepticism and analyzing cryptocurrencies, are you compensating for something? That sounds like a massive waste of energy. You really expect me to believe that you would just abandon Bitcoin if you found a currency that was superior to Bitcoin in every way? Are you really looking for such a currency?