CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES YOU'LL NEVER SEE:

"Controlling the Playground: Respect through Fear"

"Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom's Purse"

"The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy"

"The Little Sissy Who Snitched"

"Some Kittens Can Fly!"

"Get More Chocolate on Your Face"

"Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"

"What Is That Dog Doing to The Other Dog?"

"Why Can't The Fork and The Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"

"You Are Different and That's Bad"

"Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets"

"The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad"

"Babar Meets the Taxidermist"

"Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence"

"The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables"

"The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and get Shot"

"How to Become The Dominant Military Power At Your School"