The man who still isn't Tony managed to sneak back into his car and drive a few hours back to his apartment
He got on his laptop and pulled up the Whitepages looking for an exterminator business that's hiring
Something cheap and near by that shit bag motel
He finds a place but it's not hiring
He starts filling out an application anyway
Qualified enough but not so much so that they think he'll demand high wages
Using himself as a reference
His ex employer will essentially be him on his burner phone with a disguised voice
Reason for being in need of a job
The company had to shut down due to crackdowns on regulations
He sends it in
He starts printing out coupons with the company's location name and number on it
He grabs some jars and plastic bags
He goes out on foot
He starts looking through garbage cans
He finds some maggots
A dead rat
A live rat
Some cockroaches
He takes his treasure trove of nasties and drives to a park near the motel
The swings are broken
There's a ladder to a slide that no longer exists
A basketball court
And some giant springs sticking out of the ground
The city is too busy to fix it up
But it doesn't stop local kids from going there to drink
Run away from home
Or sell drugs
He stands around under a dim light for about ten minutes
Finally a kid comes up on a bike
Who you looking for?
You
says the man who is not Tony
Oh hell naw old man
Raffie!!
No no
Stop
don't call no one!
Another slightly older kid comes up and flashes a gun in his waste band
We don't let pedos around here
Oh god
No
No
I need help from someone with small hands
Smoke this freak raffie
The first kid demands
No no
Not like that
Look
He shows the kids jars of bugs
Raffie screams
awl hell nah
Nah this freak into some psycho shit
Wtf is that?!
He pulls out his gun
I just need someone to put these items around a motel in the morning
Raffie puts his gun down
What the hell are you talking about?!
I need to get an establishment hit with a health code violation
I own the motel down the street from this shit hole and I want to scare their customers away
The younger kid asks
Which one?
Dias de la villa
The kids start laughing
That place is already a shit hole
Y-yes I know but the health inspector keeps passing them
They can't ignore a rat chewing on another dead rat
He holds up a jar with just that happening inside
Raffie says that's sick man
How much?
Oh right money
I'll pay you $20 each now and $30 each when the job is done
Yo I want a PlayStation says the younger kid
Ok how about $30 each upfront and $40 each after?
Why not half upfront?
Raffie looks smug
Because if I agree to pay you more upfront you'll just skip out on doing the job
But
If you do a good job you might get a tip when it's done
This is how the world works
Alright man
The kids agree
They take the money, the insects and rats
Ok now I need you to drop some bugs in the slot where the Asian lady takes the money
It's under the little window with bars on it
Put the rats outside of the window
I'll give you extra money if I see more rats running around when I approach tomorrow morning at 9 am
Put cockroaches on people's windows
And if you see an ice machine put some maggots in there as well
By 9 am sharp I need the place already crawling with little undesirable things and people panicking needing an exterminator
You kids have small hands
Stick bugs in any creves you can fit your hand in
Yo you weird man
But you can count on us
Raffie nods
The other kid says
Get ready to empty your pockets tomorrow
I'll be looking forward to it kids
He leaves the park and goes to the motel to sprinkle coupons around on cars
Then he goes to the exterminator shop
He breaks the lock on the door and enters
He picks a random work station and starts going through the equipment and chemicals
Looking for anything that would signify an incompetent employee that must be fired immediately
He takes a backpack canister full of poison and sets it on the desk letting it drip out
He sprinkles some on the desk
He plugs in a bug zapper and places it under the dripping nozzle
He stops and asks himself what he's doing
It's going to be a miracle if this works
He goes back to the car and changes his clothes and takes a short nap
He wakes up and goes back to the exterminator shop and waits for them to open
He sees that he didn't start a fire overnight and is disappointed but he thinks he can still salvage this
The owner comes walking up
We're not open yet he says
Oh I know
I was wondering if you were hiring sir
Oh you're the applicant that emailed last night
Well you seem qualified but I just don't have room for another employee right now
The owner unlocks the door and starts walking in
Well could you just talk to me?
He tries to follow the owner inside
Listen
He sniffs
Do you smell that?
Y-yeah
I do
It smells like poison
The owner walks inside
He follows
Holy shit what the fuck?!
The owner finds the mess that not Tony left for him
The owner tries to turn on the lights
They fail
Enrique is so fired!
The owner turns read
He looks like he's about to hit someone
Well it looks like your in need of a new employee
The owner frowns
This idiot damaged the entire electrical system
I can't afford you right now
W-wait
Listen
I can start today as a trial
And if you like me
You can hold my pay for three weeks
Please I need this
He begs
The owner says
Your trial is one week
Ok done
I'll suit up right now
The phone starts ringing
I'll even answer the phone
Hello this is Chico's exterminator service
How may I help you?
I need exterminator cheap
You have coupon
I need now
Oh yes ma'am I'm aware of that
Could you please describe all the problems you have
Could you please give me your location
And I will send out a man right away
You see when you get here
Bugs and rats everywhere
We on East road
number 114
Hotel
Dias de la villa
Yes ma'am I know where that is
We will have a man out to you in ten minutes
He hangs up the phone
He looks at the owner
There's a little old lady just up the road with what looks like rat droppings
The owner says spray even if it's not and charge her
Then he tossed him keys
The van is out back
He grabs a uniform and some chemicals
As he leaves other employees start showing up
Enrique !!
He starts walking faster away
He jumps in the van and drives to the motel
When he pulls up he has the biggest grin on his face
He thinks
These kids unleashed the 7 plagues of pests on this place
I didn't even ask for frogs
It's complete chaos