Because when I was younger, I thought this same thing.

I've been what I consider extraordinarily independent my entire life. I don't like asking for help or getting help from others. Over time, I look back and realize that the "help" was sometimes watching and learning what not to do. With 5 divorces between my two natural parents, I've seen many mistakes and learned a lot. I consider those lessons that helped shape me whether they were overtly helpful or not.

When people tell you "no" or fuck you over in some way, you have to grind and figure it out. It is help, but it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

I was angry and bitter about it for many years, but I've accepted that my response to those lessons determines the weight of the help I received.

I can think back to certain points throughout my life and remember them vividly when I received "help" in the form of a hard lesson that felt like a roadblock at the time.