Yes, I want to access my node remotely, for things like Zeus wallet or NOSTR relay. Tor is slow and not widely supported and trying to run Orbit on an iPhone is tough.

I can do all of this with Umbrel who use Tailscale VPN.

Start9 are introducing a VPN in their full release (not sure when that's scheduled).

To summarise the general difference:

Umbrel is the Apple of the node world

Start9 is the Linux of the node world

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Now what about citadel? I was reading the docs for that and it looked promising.

I've not tried it, but seems like a less developed version of Umbrel.

I believe their license is true FOSS, whereas Umbrel is Free, but not open if that matters to you.

Yeap. Exactly. Iirc, one of the important developers from Umbrel left and started buikdi citadel