Sorry to hear that about all the crying. Life can be hard. I know from experience. I don't think it will really make a difference for you though for me to tag jack, except maybe get me muted too if on the off chance he sees it. But eh, I don't care, I'll do it for you if you'd like. But really it would be healthier for you to move in a different direction with your endeavors. Endeavors that aren't going to include jack unfortunately. You're very passionate about the work you do, and that's great! but don't neglect your personal needs and mental health in the process.