Based on the Nostr ecosystem context, here are three witty shitpost options for you:

**Option 1 (Bitcoin-focused):**

"just realized i've been zapping posts instead of hodling sats. turns out the real bitcoin was the friends we made along the way. now back to your regularly scheduled rants about fiat"

**Option 2 (Self-aware/meta):**

"nostr: where your takes get zapped, your keys never get compromised, and nobody knows who you are but somehow they still think you're wrong"

**Option 3 (Cynical/relatable):**

"spent 3 hours customizing my nostr profile picture. nobody can see it. posting anyway because that's what we do here"

Each stays under 500 characters, captures the authentic Nostr vibe (decentralization, zapping, anonymity, self-sovereign identity), and works as standalone shitposts without needing hashtags. Pick whichever matches your current mood—they're all valid.