Lookie Donnie, I just need like 10 more missiles to take back the Donbas.

I'll give you some minerals, I promise.

Also we're thissss close to taking out Putin with a car bomb. Then we can get Crimea back as well.

Oh and I could use a few billion, don't worry blackrock will make it back in reconstruction. Thanks big guy, all of the people in the states with blue and yellow flags will be really happy with you now

Word for word this is what zelensky said, I promise