I have learned that there is a difference between a nice person being mean and a mean person being nice. totally different effects.

this is not an apt analogy, but it's like an acoustic guitar with a pickup, distortion pedals and an amp vs an electric guitar that's not plugged in – the sound of a nice person being mean can get quite muddy, but even if you took the the pickup, distortion pedals, and amp away, they're still self-amplifying!

don't get me wrong, I love electric guitars, but without additional gear, they're utterly useless: no twang, no twee, no bellow.