"I'm sorry we stole an extra 4 digits from your paycheck before you ever saw that money. It's your fault for not submitting this annual form that no other company requires employees to resubmit ever."

"Oops, sorry we did it again because you didn't click the button correctly. It's your fault again for not clicking the right buttons in the right sequence. We will not be making any changes to our service. We will not be returning your stolen money this month either. Have a nice day!"