It's on by default in Sparrow (which would have saved me this issue if I had used) and here's more about using it
https://sparrowwallet.com/docs/faq.html#how-do-i-increase-the-fee-on-a-broadcasted-transaction
Discussion
Not so much a step by step but here's more from Nuno on Blue Wallet
https://bluewallet.io/high-fees-and-transactions-pending-what-to-do/