I feel like when I was shot I died & went to hell. The world is upside-down politically from where life used to be. Finding a partner seems impossible & took 5 years. When I find one she is unstable & causes problems when it isn't necessary. My sports team gives me just enough hope to always be let down. My family acts like they're sleep walking. I can't earn enough money to make ends meet. It seems like pleasure & happiness is just out of reach. Life at this point is getting my hopes up to have a series of letdowns.