I come at this from a different angle now, after concluding reality isn't real, and we are just operating on a useful representation of an underlying reality that we will never understand.

But I have always (ok, since a young age, maybe 12 or so) operated under the assumption that I didn't know the whole story. Explored lots of conspiracy theory, starting with Art Bell, but eventually tired of it because it was mostly people scaring themselves with bogeymen.

The underlying notion of not knowing was still there, and became foundational. That approach eventually led me to Deism, and then a little ways past it, where I can accept that there may be (and likely is) a higher power, but the only intellectually honest answer is that I don't know for sure, and don't know enough to assume any characteristics of a deity.

It is very empowering thing, to not know - it can put you in an automatic state of constant learning, observing, trying to learn more. It can also allow you some liberty in setting things aside that don't matter. Did we go to the moon? I don't know, BUT, it doesn't matter in regard to my current actions and priorities. Same for 911.

We are left to prepare as best we can for the unknown, and unknowable. That means learning skills, not having items. Learning things make you able to act, while having things is just playing the lottery and hoping you have the right thing at the right time.

My goal is to be able to be dropped into a populated (or semi-populated) region with nothing but what I am wearing at the time, and be able to thrive. I believe I can do that, not because I know everything, but because I can learn quickly and adapt.