As of right now, relays generally only talk to individual npubs.

The concept of relay mirroring that you're describing is being worked on though, and one already exists at wss://relay.nostrgraph.net

There's an explainer of how it works at https://nostrgraph.net/relay

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They speak the same language though, so nothing prevents relays from connecting. But the protocol should be improved

I tested. it didn't work with iris.to or astral.ninja