love what you wrote, seems that you are externalizing God in your metaphor while internalizing God in your description of Divinity.

I also share your worldview and struggle with internalization/externalization of the Divine while beating witness to my own Divine spark.

You clearly have studied many teachers, I would suggest one more though: geometry

My favorite challenge that was put forth by my internal narrator: build a dodecahedron (leaving one face open) using only a compass and straight edge that will fit around your head This lesson provides you the tools to passively divide probability. good luck!