I've told you why it matters. I have no life if she's not alive. No woman other than her can give me permission to do anything other than panic about her and avenge her. This is the purpose all women have collectively chosen me for by passing me from woman to woman until I met her, making her the first one with a reason not to pass me on again.

Everyone has to suffer because everyone failed her, not just me. If I've been selected to suffer alone for the rest of my life over her, that means I've also been selected to reflect society's evil back on it and punish everyone for being human, because humans didn't let one fucking good human exist.